


I do, I do, I don't know

by len1985



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/len1985/pseuds/len1985
Summary: Serena and Bernie are not together on Bernie's return but they want to be if only one of them will speak up. Is it too late when Robbie shows up with a question for Serena?





	1. Chapter 1

Serena was conflicted over Bernie being back from Ukraine. She had dressed to impress because she wanted the blonde to know what she'd missed out on. Serena was irrevocably in love with her but she had been devastated by her departure. The fact that Bernie had not contacted her or responded to her attempts to communicate had hurt. When Hanssen had told her Bernie was choosing to stay on after her work was finished, Serena was heartbroken and furious. Now that the blonde was actually here in front of her, Serena was delighted to see her. She looked amazing, her hair was a lighter shade, her smooth skin was tanned and begging to be touched. Serena's fingers itched with the need to reach out and stroke at whatever they could, to feel any part of Bernie after weeks of nothing. Serena wanted to throw herself at the woman she loved and kiss her senseless. But she didn't. Her heart was still sore from the mess the trauma surgeon had made of their relationship. Serena didn't know how to act. Were they even friends now? Should she hope they might be more? Or would they just be colleagues and nothing more?

They led an awkward dance around each other for a time. Steps faltered and halted when they saw the other or realised they were headed in the same direction, worried they would be stuck in the same space alone. They offered quick nods and tight smiles but few words were exchanged. Things were more relaxed and easy in theatre and they almost seemed like themselves again, there was a flow to their movements and they were able to work together efficiently, reading each other perfectly as always. The flirty banter was gone but at least they had hope of salvaging something. Until they left theatre. If only they could find the courage to talk, but neither wanted to be the first to move. Maybe Bernie's suggestion all that time ago of confining them to theatre didn't seem so ridiculous now, it seemed to be the only place they were even close anymore. Even off shift in Albies they sat as far apart as possible, a far cry from how they used to be, huddled together as near as they could be without getting carried away and chatting close to the other's face. The lingering looks were the only thing that hadn't changed. Stolen glances when the other wasn't looking and quickly looking away flushed when they got caught out.

It wasn't that Bernie had forgotten how beautiful Serena was while she was away. The brunette's striking face had never left her thoughts but seeing her again, she found new things to love that perhaps she hadn't noticed before or never fully appreciated. And all the old things she had already loved just intensified. The softness of her eyes as she comforted relatives giving startling contrast to the spark of indignation when she thought her authority was being challenged. The playful quirk of an eyebrow when she was teasing one of her co-workers made those eyes shine with mirth. The gentle lines that spoke of years of laughter and living live with open arms. She put her all into everything she did and her face showed every emotion in stunning high definition. Her smile could melt even the coldest heart and it was Bernie's favourite thing. It was just a shame she was never the cause anymore, making Serena smile was like being given a gift and Bernie missed it most of all. She hadn't failed to notice either that her smiles rarely reached her eyes anymore but when they did, when she was truly happy and unguarded, Bernie's breath caught every time. She missed this woman fiercely. Being right in front of her and feeling miles away was torture. All she wanted was to throw her arms around her and never let go. The feeling of Serena at her fingertips, the weight of her curvaceous body against Bernie's was pure heaven. To kiss her soft lips and taste her mouth again was the stuff of dreams. Bernie couldn't control the fantasy, imagining Serena splayed naked on her bed with Bernie straddled above her, all that skin at her disposal and hours to spend just touching her. They would make love until they were exhausted and then lie tangled together smiling and kissing. Lost in each other.

Bernie was wrenched from the perfect thought by Jason barging into their office looking for his Aunt. Bernie quickly averted her gaze, as she knew she'd been staring at the brunette unashamedly as she dreamt of all the things she would do to her. Clearing her throat but not her mind, she hastily pretended to fill in some paperwork while nephew and Aunt chatted, unaware of Bernie's wonderings.

"Auntie Serena, I thought you and Robbie weren't getting back together." Jason looks at her perplexed.

"We're not Jason." Serena stands firm, casting a furtive glance at her co-lead. Bernie's eyes flashed with something resembling jealousy and Serena was blushing deeply. "Why would you think we were?" It was Serena's turn to look confused.

God the way her forehead crinkles when she looks puzzled is just gorgeous, Bernie looks on lost in the brunette.

"Well wouldn't you have to be together to get married?" He thinks that makes the most sense really.

Both women's heads snap up to Jason at that and look shocked and bewildered.

"Married?! Jason what are you talking about? I'm not getting married to Robbie." Serena's voice sounds almost strangled and Bernie heaves a sigh of relief that no one is marrying Robbie the Bobbie. Least of all Serena.

"Then why is he outside the door on one knee with a sign saying "Serena, will you marry me?" holding a ring box?" Jason really doesn't understand relationships at all now, he thinks.

Serena looks like she's been slapped and Bernie like she might cry as Serena whispers a pained "what?" She glances through the blinds to see the exact scene Jason has just described. She spins quickly, back tight to the door so she won't be spotted as Robbie looks up. "Oh my God, he is. What is he doing?" Serena has her head in her hand and she sounds exasperated.

"I'd say that's rather obvious Auntie Serena. He's proposing to you." Jason infuriatingly states matter of fact.

"Yes, thank you Jason. I had gathered that." Serena bites back.

"Then why did you ask what he was -" Jason begins.

"Not now, Jason please." All the colour has left Serena's face and she looks like she might faint.

A gentle tap on the door makes her jump. "Serena, are you in there?" Robbie knocks looking for her.

"Jesus, he's coming in!" Serena squeals. She glances round the room for somewhere to hide, then remembers she's a 51 year old highly intelligent vascular surgeon with some dignity left. Not much right at this moment, but some. "Ah. Yes Robbie just a second." She stalls him and takes a deep breath before spinning to open the door. Oh God he's down on one knee again at her feet now.

"Serena..." he starts, taking her left hand. "...you are such an amazing woman. So beautiful and smart and funny and -"

"Robbie maybe we could go somewhere a bit more private. We could talk about this." He was really going for it, Serena was in agony. She tried to pull him to his feet but he was having none of it.

"...I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I meant what I said, I would move in with you and Jason, as long as we're together I don't care. I love you Serena Campbell and I would be honoured if you would be my wife." He beams as he slips the ring on to her finger, kissing her hand.

Serena is utterly speechless as she stares down at the ring and then the man who's just given it to her.

"Congratulations Auntie Serena!" Jason is pulling her round and hugging her tightly as she remains stunned. She notices Bernie then at her desk behind Jason and her heart drops as their eyes meet. Bernie's are filled with unshed tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Bernie couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, she couldn't stop looking at Serena. The tears trickling down her cheeks as she knew it was too late now. If only she'd come back sooner, if only she hadn't gone in the first place. If only she wasn't such a bloody coward and had just spoken up, told Serena the truth. She was so in love with her and now she was his. Bernie couldn't stop crying, as she silently sobbed with Serena watching her.

Serena wanted to go to her. To wrap her in her arms and whisper all the love in her heart softly into the blonde's ear. She stretched a hand out, almost inaudible as she called her name. "Bernie." Her heart was crushed in her chest and she could feel her own tears form. Bernie started to move and she had almost reached her when she stopped dead. Robbie was turning the brunette back round to face him and he was leaning in to kiss her. Bernie couldn't watch, she turned her head and closed her eyes so tightly that her face hurt. Willing herself to be anywhere but here.

Serena was trapped in Robbie's arms as their faces got painfully closer, until his lips were almost on hers. "No." Serena was quiet but sure. Bernie's head whipped round at the sound, eyes wide and heart thumping.

"I'm sorry, Robbie. I can't do this. I just can't." Serena was pulling herself out of his grasp and taking off the ring. She handed it back to him. "I'm sorry." She ran from the room as the whole ward watched her reject him and scarper.

Robbie just stood there gobsmacked. He knew she'd said there was someone else but he figured she just needed a little push as this someone else never materialised. "Was this you? Did you put her off me again?" Robbie was snarling at Jason. The poor boy looked terrified, he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Leave him alone!" Bernie squared up to the man. Stepping between him and Jason. She'd be dammed if this jumped up idiot belittled Jason in front of everyone.

"Oh look, how sweet. All the female doctors fighting your battles now are they Jason?" He smirked at the boy. "Can't stand up for yourself, like a real man?" He laughed in their faces.

"Get out!" Serena was behind Robbie suddenly, having decided she wasn't going to run anymore. Her face was like thunder and she was shaking with rage. "Get away from him! How dare you, he's a millions times the real man you are!" She spat out. "He's good and kind and intelligent and caring. He's nothing like you and I for one am glad of it." She had to hold herself still to keep from flattening him.

"He's nothing but a retard!" Robbie was incensed at being humiliated in front of an audience.

Serena slapped him with all of her strength for that. Leaving a satisfying red hand print on his smug face. "I said get out! Don't come anywhere near either of us again. And if you EVER call him that disgusting word again, I will personally end you." Serena stared him down, daring him to challenge her.

He knew better as he sloped off, tail very much between his legs. The ward broke into rapturous applause at Serena's performance, glad to see the back of the horrible copper.

Serena was still shaking and she flexed her fingers as they stung from how hard she had hit him. "Damn." She whispered as the pain shot up her arm. "Well, what is everyone standing around and staring for? Show's over folks. The patients aren't going to care for themselves." She snapped and the staff fell over themselves trying to get back to work.

Serena gripped her arm as the pain really took hold then.

Bernie moved to examine her but she stopped as Serena met her eyes.

"I'm fine. Just leave it." She stepped around the blonde to see to Jason.

"Auntie Serena. Am I a retard? First Lola and now Robbie..." Jason searched her face for an explanation.

"No, Jason. You listen to me. I meant what I said just now. I wouldn't have you any other way. You have a unique way of seeing the world because of your condition but there's nothing wrong with you. Only people who don't see how special you are are wrong. Never be any different just to please anyone else. Anyone who loves you will accept you for the wonderful young man you are." She took both his hands in hers, willing him to believe the truth of her words. She could kill Robbie. All this time Jason was doing so well, gaining in confidence everyday. She'd never forgive herself if bringing the brut back into their lives would destabilise Jason's progress.

Bernie watched the pair and was even more in love with this incredible woman for being so strong and loving for the young man. She smiled at her right hook as well. She would replay that slap ad infinitum with great pleasure.

"Auntie Serena. Can I stay at Celia's tonight?" he smiled, seemingly unfazed and Serena heaved a sigh of relief until she realised what he had just asked.

"Celia's?" She tried to keep her voice level and calm.

"Yes I was coming to ask you when I spotted Robbie. Her parents said it was ok. Her Mum likes me now. She said they have a spare room I can sleep in but they have dinner at 7.30pm so we need to hurry home so I can pack an overnight bag. Will you drive me to their house please?" He looked at her eagerly.

"Spare room. Right, I see." Serena relaxed a little then. They were both quite naive and she doubted anything salacious was intended. Celia's parents would be there too. "I need you to write down all their contact numbers. I will ring them now to make sure this is ok before we land on their doorstep. And their address please." Serena watched him scribble down all the information for her.

"Can we stop at a shop so I can purchase some gifts to say thank you also, Auntie Serena?"

"That's very thoughtful Jason. Yes of course." She smiled at the fine young man he had really become.

"You don't mind spending the night alone, do you? They will drop me home tomorrow afternoon. I thought since it was your day off, you could have a lie-in. You do look rather tired lately." And there was blunt, direct Jason back.

"That's fine. Thank you, Jason." Serena's smile tighten slightly.

"Auntie Serena?" Jason looked at her seriously then.

"Yes, Jason."

"I really love Celia. I'm going to marry her someday." With that he left her to go get his things ready to go home.

Serena's eyes filled with tears as she blew a tender kiss at the young man's back. She wiped at her tears berating herself for being a silly, old, sentimental fool.

Bernie had tears in her own eyes at the interaction but she hid it surreptitiously behind her computer screen.

Serena quickly dialled the number Jason had given her. "Ah, yes hello. My name is Serena Campbell, I am Jason Haynes' Aunt. That's right. I hope you don't mind my ringing you at home. I just wanted to check that it was ok with you for Jason to, um, to stay over tonight. Uh huh. Yes that's no problem. He has told me about dinner and I will have him there for 7.30pm. If you'd rather I pick him up tomorrow. Oh yes I see, in that case I will leave you my contact numbers and I can give you my address when I drop him off. See you then. Thank you. Bye." Serena smiled as Celia's Mum sounded lovely and very fond of Jason in spite of their awkward initial meeting.

Serena busied herself getting ready to leave and had forgotten Bernie was there until she spoke, startling her.

"That's some right arm you have." She smiled.

"Well, yes he deserved it for being such an insufferable..." Serena trailed off searching for the right word.

"Asshole." The pair said in unison and laughed for the first time together.

Bernie wanted to say something as she stood, moving towards the brunette. She was so gorgeous, Bernie had to hold her. "Serena, I -"

"I should go. Don't want Jason to be late. I'll never hear the end of it." Serena made for the door. "You know where I am if anyone needs a slap!" Serena inwardly cringed but she smiled awkwardly and left in a hurry.

Bernie smiled. Yes, I do know exactly where you are. At home. All night. Alone. She sprang into action, getting ready to make a house call.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena was just settling in for her evening to herself. Jason was safely deposited with Celia and her family. He seemed more than happy to adapt to spending a night away, if it meant he could spend time with his girlfriend. Serena smiled at the thought. If anyone deserved some happiness, it was her sweet Jason. Despite his challenges, he was so easy to love. If she felt a pang of loneliness at the thought of the night that stretched out in front of her, she pushed it straight back down. She couldn't begrudge Jason a loving relationship with a nice girl, even if her own personal life was shot to Hell.

She was just about to decide what to make herself for dinner, while the Shiraz breathed on the side of course, when the doorbell rang. Unsure who it might be, she hadn't been expecting anyone, she flung the door open to find Bernie on the other side. Shifting nervously from foot to foot, her arms full.

"Bernie, what are you... Here let me help you with those." Serena grab some of the things from the blonde's arms.

Bernie had lost the power of speech. Serena wasn't in her work clothes anymore. She was bare foot with loose fitting black Capri pants and a figure hugging vest top on. She was braless and it was cold with the door open. Her nipples stood up firmly in the t-shirt and the neck of the top moved away from her body as she lent forward to help Bernie with the bags. Oh sweet lord, I'm looking at her breasts. Stop staring at them. Bernie's brain short-circuited and she could hear the blood rush in her ears. Why am I still staring at them? Eyes up, soldier! Bernie was scarlet with embarrassment but she couldn't tear her eyes from the brunette.

Serena was speaking but she didn't catch a word, as she pictured peeling the tight top from her body to have a proper look at what was underneath. She licks her lips unthinkingly and she has to suck in a few deep breath to stop herself hyperventilating. Maybe this was a bad idea, she started to panic then, she was sure she couldn't be in the same space alone with this woman without making some idiotic pass at her. "I'm sorry. I'm disturbing your evening. I shouldn't have -" Bernie started to back away, Serena watching her like she'd gone stark raving mad.

"Bernie." Serena calls to stop her.

Bernie's heart explodes with hope inside her chest cavity.

"Don't you need the rest of your stuff?" She indicates the bags she had lifted for the blonde, still in her hands.

"Right, yes. Right. Of course. Sorry." Bernie doesn't want to get any closer to her again but she has to retrieve the items.

"What is all this anyway?" Serena's curiosity gets the better of her and she's not ready for the blonde to leave. "Won't you come in? It's cold out here." Serena wraps her arms around herself and rubs the length of her arms, trying to warm up.

Bernie chokes as she watches Serena's breasts lift up and jiggle gently at her actions. "I. Um. I." Christ, Major get a grip. Just form a solitary sentence for God's sake! "I don't want to intrude." Bernie huffs, half at the effort required, half in victory of the words making sense.

"You're not intruding. I have a bottle open. Come inside, you'll freeze." Both gasp as Serena reaches for Bernie's hand. "You're like ice. Please come in." Serena's eyes flit over Bernie's worried face. Would it be better to just let her go, if she wants to?

Bernie steps cautiously into the hall and Serena shuts the door. She throws a long grey cardigan on that was hanging on the banister and steps into her slippers to warm up. Bernie hangs her coat where the cardigan had been. "Have a seat by the fire, if you like. You'll heat up in no time. Do you want something to drink? Have you had dinner, I was just about to make something if you're hungry?" Serena threw over her shoulder heading for the kitchen.

It's then that Bernie remembers her bags. She follows the brunette "Actually, I picked us up some take away. From that Italian place we had dinner in that time before -" Bernie cuts the sentence short. She was about to say "before I left." Her eyes fall to the floor, guilt heavy on her shoulders.

"Before Kiev, you mean?" Serena finishes for her. She looks at Bernie with such sad eyes, it's like they're back in their office 8 weeks ago, with Bernie holding her at arm's length again.

Bernie makes to leave. "This was probably a bad idea." She turns to go, not seeing Serena's face fall and tears start. She gets halfway to the door when she stops. I'm not running anymore. She comes slowly back to the kitchen. Serena has her back to her, hands gripping the worktop, shoulders shaking with the sobs. She jumps as Bernie throws the bags on to the dining table.

Bernie starts to search for plates and cutlery for the food, wine glasses for the Shiraz and Serena moves to help. They are side by side lifting things from the cupboards when Bernie pulls her to her for a tight hug. Leaning back she's brushing the tears from her flushed cheeks and Serena's breath catches at the touch. Bernie offers her a small, shy smile and they sit at the table to eat the food.

"Thank you for sticking up for Jason today. I saw you get in between him and Robbie." Serena was touched by how Bernie seemed to want to protect her nephew. It endeared the blonde to her even more.

"I like Jason very much." Bernie smiled, she thought the young man was rather easy to get on with, if a little blunt, but she saw how much he had grown in the short time she'd known him, no short amount of thanks to the remarkable woman across from her now. "So, why did you say no to Robbie?" Bernie felt emboldened by the brunette's rejection of the oafish moron.

"You saw how he was with Jason, it never would have lasted." Serena twirled her fork around, playing with her food and avoiding the real reason.

"Yes but you'd already turned him down by then." Bernie wasn't letting it go.

"I couldn't marry him. I just couldn't. Not when I'm in love with someone else." Serena wouldn't look at Bernie, she piled food into her mouth and chewed slowly trying to draw out her inability to say anything until their plates were empty.

Once the food is eaten and the table cleared, Serena sits back down beside the blonde to finish her drink. "What's in the rest of these bags?" Serena chats nervously, not wanting an awkward silence to take hold.

"Oh nothing much. I bought a bottle of Shiraz but I should have known you'd have that covered." Bernie chuckles lifting her glass to her lips, taking a long drink of wine to try to steady her nerves. "The other one is a gift for you." She blushes, gesturing to the second bag.

Serena smiles and squeezes the blonde's hand in thanks. Peering in to the bag she sees a beautiful bouquet of the most perfect red roses ever. "Oh Bernie. These are so lovely." Serena delicately strokes the petals with such care that Bernie is captivated by her stunning fingers. Long and elegant, such amazing hands. Serena notices the other item: a small gift set of muscle rub. Serena seems puzzled by this one.

"You sprained your wrist decking Robbie today, didn't you?" Bernie willed the next words to come out. "I can take a look at it for you."

Serena tries to refuse but what she hears come out is. "Yes please, it is rather sore."

They take their glasses into the sitting room to lounge on the sofa. Bernie brings the cream with her and motions to Serena to remove her cardigan. And then there's that vest top again.

Rubbing her hands together to warm them up, she silently seeks permission to touch the brunette. She gently flexes Serena wrist in various directions, checking for the most sensitive areas. Serena winces at one particular movement and Bernie has her wriggle her fingers to check there's nothing broken. "I don't think you'll need an x-ray." She says it with such genuine concern that warms Serena's heart. "May I?" Bernie lifts the tube of cream, squeezing some on to her hand to begin massaging it in to Serena's wrist and arm. She soothes her hands over the sorest parts and works her way up and then back down Serena's arm.

Serena is in heaven. Her wrist feels a hundred times better and Bernie's hands are on her. She forgets herself as a contented sigh just rushes out. The heat of Bernie's fingers on her skin is like fire and her nerve endings tingle gloriously.

"This should have you right as rain in a day or two. Can't have Holby's best vascular surgeon out of commission for slapping a worthless prick." Bernie giggles at the memory before adding seriously. "Just be sure to rub some of this on first thing in the morning and again before bed and then maybe one or twice during the day if the pain gets too much. There." Bernie finishes up with a flourish and bends down to kiss Serena's wrist better. Shit. She did it without thinking.

"Will you be here to apply it for me every time?" Serena watches Bernie hopefully.

Bernie is locked in her gaze as she searches those dark, mesmerising eyes for any objections to her next move. She glances at Serena's lips and then back up to her eyes. Leaning towards the brunette, she can feel their breaths mix in the scant millimetres of their lips almost touching. "Serena." Bernie brushed Serena's lips with her own. "I need you to know that I will never leave you again." She surges to capture the brunette's mouth and feels Serena start to respond. Bernie's body hums with desire as she probes the brunette's mouth with her tongue. Fingers tracing under the vest top to rub the back of her hand on Serena's breast and her knuckles graze a firmed nipple.

Serena is lost to the sensation and she moans into Bernie's mouth. "Bernie." She pulls back to see the blonde's darkened eyes blazing with want. She can see what Bernie needs, written all over her lustful expression.

"Serena, I have to know. This someone else you're in love with -"

"It's you." Serena confirms breathlessly before Bernie is back on her for more kisses.


	4. Chapter 4

Who needs to breathe anyway? Serena thinks as her lungs ache from the lack of oxygen, but she can't stop kissing Bernie. She's missed out on 2 months of the trauma surgeon and she's not stopping until she passes out. Although, if she passes out then she can't do this at all. Fine. She pulls away to breathe quickly and then back in. Oh joyous rapture, could this be more heavenly? Bernie runs her fingertips up and down her bare arms. Well now, apparently it could. Serena's skin prickles with goosebumps under Bernie's exquisite hands. She stops to check in with Serena and the brunette whimpers at the broken contact. She throws her body on top of Bernie and flattens her against the sofa cushions. Kissing her again, Bernie's head spins and she forgets she was about to say something. What was it? Bernie throws her arms up in a "who knows?" type gesture and more importantly "who the fuck cares?" Serena is kissing her so deeply that she's sure they have melded into one by now. Her hands slip up the back of Serena's vest top to stroke her spine and pull her closer. Then she remembers what it was. Her eyes fly open as she realises she moments away from stripping the brunette and taking her here on the sofa. "Serena. Serena, wait." She mumbles into the lips still pressed firmly against hers. She gently pushes Serena back slightly and the brunette searches her features, anxious at the pause.

"Is everything ok? Is the kissing... ? Am I not...?" Serena lifts away from her completely then. She gets up off the sofa and backs away from the blonde. "No, no of course not. I'm sure you could have any woman you want. You are..." she moves her hand up and down the outline of the blonde's silhouette on her sofa, indicating the perfection that was Bernie Wolfe "...and I'm" Serena's hands sweep her own figure. "Oh what would someone like you want with a silly, old lump like me? I'm such an idiot. Throwing myself at you, like some...some desperate fool. Just go. We'll say no more about it. We can just forget that I launched myself on you. I'm so sorry." Serena was walking to the door to let Bernie out.

She never made it. Bernie grabbed hold of her wrist, making sure it wasn't the injured one, and span her around pressing her flush to her own front door. "Don't. Ever. Apologise. For. Wanting. Me." Bernie inserts a searing kiss between each word. "And don't ever doubt that I want you. Fuck, Serena how could I not?" She holds Serena's arms gently above her head, planting soft kisses to her swanlike neck. So long and graceful, made for her lips. "I just wanted to check that you were ok with this. I don't want to come on too strongly, but I have to make love to you." Bernie's hot breath confesses into Serena's ear.

"Bernie. Oh yes please." Serena giggles delighted as she's scooped up in the blonde's strong arms and carried to the bedroom. Bernie sets her on to the bed delicately and settles on top on her, kneeling over her. She leans down to kiss Serena once more before standing back up to undress herself. Serena watches her for a second and then decides to join in. She's never been a wallflower, no need to start now.

Serena moves to the edge of the bed, curling her finger to beckon Bernie to her. The blonde places herself between Serena's open legs. Bent down to kiss Serena, she feels the brunette's fingers unbuttoning her shirt and Bernie is beyond aroused at how close she is to being Serena's lover. Serena slips the now open shirt from toned shoulders, exposing a plain but gorgeous black bra. Serena's finger traces the trim, tickling at Bernie chest agonisingly. Her hand slips to the button of her jeans and Serena unfastens it to slip them down over shapely hips. She kisses Bernie's midriff as she works the jeans to the floor. Bernie kicks them and her shoes off impatiently, as her fingers slip into Serena's hair, encouraging her to keep kissing her skin.

Serena starts to use her tongue then, as she licks a path along the hem at the waist of her panties, then kissing her stomach again. Bernie groans at the contrast. Serena pulls her down to her and they sink into the mattress, lips glued together in a perfect kiss. They shuffle up to the top of the bed, clinging to each other. "I really think you should be wearing less clothes." Bernie teases as she tugs off the all too distracting vest top and gasps as all of Serena's top half fills her vision. "Oh, Serena you are gorgeous." Bernie cups her voluptuous breasts in her hands, thumbs seeking out nipples. She sucks on one as she holds it in her hand, snaking her other hand down to the waist of the brunette's trousers. She slips her hand inside and reels at what she finds. "Fuck, Serena. Have you not been wearing any underwear this whole time?" Bernie pupils blow wide with lust. She moans and shudders at the wetness of Serena's core on her fingers.

Serena reaches round to the clasp of Bernie's bra to unhook it. She is mesmerised by the sight of the blonde's breasts, having never seen another woman and been so turned on. Kissing at Bernie's chest, she feels Bernie's fingers dive further into her trousers and arches into her. "Fuck. Yes that's so good. Bernie, touch me again." Serena commands and Bernie happily complies. Stroking at her temptingly but not quite how she needs it, she knows she is driving the brunette mad, as Serena continually tries to buck up into her fingers. Needing her naked, Bernie undoes the trousers, slowly slipping them off. Serena’s soft curls come into sight and Bernie's heart thuds against her ribs, her breathing erratic.

Bernie pushes her own panties down and kicks them off the bed. So here we are, both naked at last. Bernie lies down against Serena's front wanting to feel every part of them touch and kisses her with such longing that they both flood with arousal. "What do you want?" Bernie asks Serena shyly. She knows this is her first time with another woman and she wants it to be unforgettable.

"I'm not sure. Bernie, I just want you" Serena's fingers trace the blonde's sides and then grip her buttocks possessively. "Show me how to do this." Serena looks excited but apprehensive.

Bernie kisses every inch of the brunette then, hoping to show her how beautiful her body is. Serena breathes harshly as the warmth of Bernie's lips over her skin feels incredible. "Bernie. Bernie, this feels amazing." She twists her fingers into blonde curls and brings Bernie back to her lips. "I have to tell you." Serena words descend into a strangled moan as Bernie circles her nipple with one finger, before pinching it. "Aaah! Yes. Do that again." Serena moves her to the other breast and the same sensation makes her head spin. "Bernie, you need to know how much I love you." Serena shudders out, into the blonde's hair as she leans down to trap the nipple between her teeth. She stops and lifts her eyes to meet Serena's. "I love you." Serena repeats as tears fill her eyes. "This is the best moment of my life. Being here with you." Serena can't hold back the tears at the profundity of having Bernie here. In her bed. Naked with her. Touching and kissing her as she could only dream about for weeks. About to make love with the woman she adores. It's too much.

Bernie moves up to hold her. Kissing her with all her heart. Her tears soak the blonde's face but she keeps kissing her. "Serena, look at me." She pulls back to hold her gaze. Serena watches her, tears streaking her face. "If this is too fast, we can slow down." Bernie quickly continues as she sees Serena panic. "This is not me saying I don't want you. I do, more than anything. But I don't want to rush you, if this is too overwhelming, we can wait. Take the time to make sure you're ready." Bernie rests her forehead against Serena's. "You set the pace, ok? I won't do anything you don't want me to. I promise. I love you, Serena. Whatever we do tonight. I love you." Bernie caresses her cheek and kisses her tenderly.

Serena's heart is fit to burst at Bernie's declaration. She is so in love with this woman and she wants to be with her. Properly. She wants them to belong to each other. Feeling stronger then, she kisses the blonde passionately, hoping to show her what she wants. She stretches down for Bernie and is rewarded with a shiver against her mouth as Serena's fingers meet her centre. She whispers into Bernie's ear before nibbling her lobe. "Fuck slowing down. I think we've waiting long enough, don't you?" Bernie sees her eyes shine with desire. The blonde doesn't need any further encouragement.

She kisses and sucks and licks and fondles her way down to between Serena's thighs. With one last questioning look, she sees Serena nod vehemently and she takes her then. Flicking her tongue over Serena, and smiling to herself as the brunette jerks wildly. Bernie would have the smuggest of grins right now if her mouth were not occupied. With eating out Serena Campbell. Even the thought makes Bernie almost cum. And her taste. Nectar doesn't even cover it. Bernie savours every drop as she works eagerly to pleasure this beauty, this woman who has captured her heart. She does love Serena, more than words can describe. So she vows to show her with every kiss, every touch and every part of her, that she will treasure her always. Just as she deserves. Serena seems to like this idea very much, judging by the noise. Bernie has never heard a sweeter sound, as she flicks and teases at the brunette's clit with the tip of her tongue.

Continuing with her mouth over the area, she slowly enters her with 2 fingers, eyes darting to Serena to check if she's ok. Serena doesn't even see Bernie watching her. Eyes closed, head thrown back and face contoured with pure ecstasy. Bernie gasps against her clit, startling her. Serena looks down to the woman she loves with such an expression of soft adoration, so different yet equally beautiful, from the anguished pleasure of moments ago. Bernie feels an urge to kiss her overtake and she moves back up to her mouth, lost in the taste of her. Fingers still probing inside, mirroring her tongue now inside Serena's mouth.

Serena feels strangely excited by her taste on Bernie's lips, the blonde swirling it deep into her mouth with her tongue. "Bernie, oh Bernie. I missed you so." Serena babbles against her, as she senses everything she feels for the blonde fizz to the surface and spill from her lips unfiltered. " I want you to know that. I want you." Serena can't stop the truth from escaping, almost as if every thrust of Bernie's hand inside her pushes it all out. "I... oh yes Bernie. Fuck. Don't stop. I...I...Oh God." Serena's muscles spasm and she goes rigid with release. Bernie stares open mouthed at how captivating she looks mid- orgasm. She is so free and beautiful, Bernie's chest swells as her heart can't contain all the love she feels for this perfect woman. Bernie wants to burst with pride that Serena belongs to her in some way now, that she has been able to give this pleasure to her. Bernie is sure she doesn't breath until she sees Serena finally relax, utterly undone.

Serena is panting, covered in sweat and aching deliciously. She feels amazing, she has never been happier and she can't help the enormous grin that spreads across her face. "Bernie?" Serena reaches out for the blonde, trying to pull her into her arms. "You are truly the most incredible lover I have ever had." Serena's skin is flushed pink from the exertion and she looks stunning. "That was. Wow. Just wow. You. What you just did to me. That was the best orgasm I have EVER had. Jesus!" Serena bit her lip at the memory, a bashful chuckle leaving her lips.

"And now, Major. I rather think it might be your turn." Serena winks suggestively as she moves to have her way with the blonde trauma surgeon who has just made the Earth move underneath her.


	5. Chapter 5

Truthfully Bernie had wanted and thought about this moment for months. Imagining Serena make love to her was a personal favourite amongst all the sexual fantasies of her lifetime. She had ground herself to completion, calling out the brunette's name, an embarrassing number of times. How tame her imagination must be, for here it was in all the technicolour, surround sound glory of real life, and every hair on her body stood on end waiting for her, and it was nowhere near as good in her dreams. Serena was spellbinding, knelt above her with the heat of her thighs clinging to Bernie's hip and those breasts just begging to be touched. Bernie's mouth watered from the need to have one of her nipples on the tip of her tongue. Her weight pinning Bernie to the bed was sensational and her wetness still present, lightly coating Bernie's own heat with Serena's.

Serena had never done this before and she had to admit she was a little worried. What if she wasn't what Bernie wanted? What did Bernie want? She felt like she was going to be inadequate no matter what she did and the uncertainty ate away at her. Bernie had been so sure, so confident, so skilled at bringing about Serena's pleasure. Serena wanted to make the blonde feel what she had just given Serena. But how? "Bernie, what if I'm not what you want?" Serena searched Bernie's face for some idea of how she was feeling.

"You are." Bernie's reply was instant and emphatic. "Believe me, Serena you are the sexiest woman I have ever known. Just the idea of you makes my whole body ache with wanting you. Every second that I was away from you was torture. Self inflicted, I know. To be with you. Kiss you. Touch you. Just to hear your voice, look into your eyes and know that you could love a foolish coward like me, is like fire in my veins. I want you Serena, please. I need you." Bernie was almost pleading, she was so aroused but she wanted to show Serena she loved her.

Serena took pity on her then. Bernie looked so keyed up beneath her that she saw now that she was desired by the blonde. Summoning her inner sex goddess, she decided that her love for Bernie would translate in her touches and she would instinctively know what to do. Kissing Bernie now with gently trembling lips, she lets herself get lost in those lips to calm her nerves. It seemed to work as she brought her hands up to stroke over Bernie's shoulders, moving down her arms to the very tips of her fingers. Working her way up her sides, she hears Bernie's breath hitch as she tickles her nails down the blonde's front. She palms Bernie's breast and uses the pads of her thumbs to caress her taut nipples. Feeling brazen, she licks a line from her belly button, between her breasts and over her throat. Then she places wet, probing kisses to her neck and whispers in her ear. "I am going to make you feel so good. You're about to cum so hard, you won't know you're own name. But you'll never forget mine." She grins as she hears Bernie almost sob with arousal.

Serena nips her way back down to Bernie's breasts and kisses one before licking lazy circles around her nipple and taking in into her mouth. Sucking on it like it is life-giving, she feels the blonde arch up and grasp at the sheets. "Serena, my God. That's fantastic!" Bernie pushes her head to the other breast, urging her to do the same to it. Serena brings a hand up to the neglected nipple her mouth has just left, pinching it intermittently as she repeats her motions with her mouth on the other. Bernie's heart races and her chest heaves against Serena's hand and lips, as she breathes heavily. She couldn't have imagined this in a million lifetimes. Serena's touch is like electricity and it awakens her very soul. She feels more alive than she has in a long time. Possibly ever. How had she thought she was living at all before? Serena butterflies more of those kisses to her stomach and then lower. Lower...

Bernie feels her lips close to her core and she feels dizzy with anticipation. "Oh please." Her words are barely out before Serena is granting her wish. "Serena." She breathes her name out just before she can no longer speak.

Serena swipes the length of Bernie's folds and places her hands under her bum cheeks to pull her even closer. She has a firm grip as she holds the blonde to her mouth. Not that Bernie would move away, even if she could. The pulsing of pleasure through her centre radiates out, causing her whole body to tingle gloriously. Serena surprises them both by slipping inside the trauma surgeon with her tongue. There is no other way to say it, Bernie thinks. Serena Campbell is fucking me with her tongue. Fuck! Bernie drives up into her and moans uncontrollably. The sound spurs Serena on, Bernie's walls clenching and releasing around her. She thrusts in and out of her at an increasing pace and pressure.

She drags her tongue out and with just the tip, she travels up to Bernie's clitoris. She almost touches it. Almost. Moving passed the throbbing, swollen nub, she kisses and nips at Bernie's pubic bone. Fingers tease at the crease at the very top of Bernie's inner thigh. She slowly parts her with a hand on either side. "There she is." Serena's breath on her clit makes Bernie shudder. She catches the blonde's eye, making sure she watches her lean in to her. Bernie is desperate now as Serena seems to be moving impossibly slowly.

"Shit. Oh my fuck!" Bernie screams as the warmth of Serena's tongue finally hits the spot. She shakes as her thighs start to quiver. She has never known pleasure like this and she knows she won't last long.

Serena sets up a slow, deliberate rhythm and creates the perfect amount of friction to Bernie's clit, driving her to unprecedented heights. A long, intense orgasm gathers in Bernie's groin and her legs shake either side of Serena's head. "I'm coming. Serena!" Bernie wails as the most incredible orgasm floods her body, head to toe. She rides up into Serena's tongue, thrusting herself against her as her toes curl and she tenses at the pinnacle. Serena laps up her juices as she licks her through the release.

Falling back on the bed, Bernie goes limp with delectable exhaustion. Her heart pounds out a beat that sounds suspiciously like the brunette's name and her breathing is harsh. "I...We...Serena. You. Um." She giggles as she struggles to verbalise how unbelievable that was.

Serena lies down besides her, stroking her arm and smiling sweetly. Bernie stretches her arm to envelope the brunette, bringing her head down to rest on the blonde's shoulder. Holding her as close as she can she kisses Serena's forehead and whispers into her hair until they both fall asleep. "I love you. I love you. I always have."


End file.
